 I make it all up. That is true and then it is not true. I have often been asked where my "inspiration" comes from and how I paint with "energy". I haven't the courage or boldness to say, "Everything, everywhere and anything". I am not a big believer in 'inspiration', so much I am a practitioner of allowing creation to happen. OK, that sounds 'woo-woo' but let me try to make some sense of it (because even I am a little confused in writing it).
I guess the easiest way to explain it is from the beginning. I used to be a control freak about my art. Meaning, it had to be done my way and only my way and there was no room for any other influences to come into play. That sucked. It crippled me for many years. I did not paint, create or anything. I told everyone that I was creating, but was really lying to them and myself. As a professional graphic designer, I could mask 'creating' with work and get away with it.
I finally came to a point where I could not stand 'not' creating. So I acquired some really crappy old house paint. I knew I couldn't control it so 'it', the paint, got to be just as involved in making the image as I was. In acknowledging the paint as a living being, I began to respect and develop a relationship with it. What came about is a symbiotic relationship, a dance. I would lead, and then let it lead. I got to trust it. Like really trust that it will create what is meant to be created. I made up that if I did not trust it, it would not trust me, and the painting would fall apart. This would happen from time to time. I would get frustrated and it would shut me out.
Great. Just what I needed. Another relationship in my life. The big difference is that I am completely the source of it all. (OK, now those of you who know me from transformation realize I am having a huge 'ah-ha' moment in being source of everything.) Anyways, as time has gone on, I invited and allowed others to be a part of my relationship with my creativeness. Some of them don't realize they are in relationship with me when they model, pose or work with me, but they are. I relate to their energy in the same way I relate to the paint that is my partner. I trust it, dance with it, give way and lead.
That is why I say I paint with 'energy'. I feel mostly everybody's energy. I feel most of the world's energy. That is not all that great at times. I have noticed that in the past year, I became uncontrollably sad about the existence of humanity in general. It sucked to be in my head and heart, but I was experiencing the worlds upset about so many things at once. The economy, war, poverty, ignorance, etc.,. I have since been conscious not to allow all that energy in at once. The overwhelm is too much for me to handle.
Now, imagine trying to explain this to your friends and especially your family. As the youngest of 5 kids, 3 boys, two of whom are stud athletes, it gets a little intimidating saying, "Ya know, I'm not gonna meet you at the bar to watch the game. I'm gonna 'dance' with my paint, experience my oneness with the world and then, uh, watch the paint dry." Yeah, that goes over really well. But you know, I am probably making that up as well.
- GENE
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Peace has become uneasy for humanity. Peace has become an advanced humanity. You cannot be in 'wanting' of it, you must be 'of' it, and it may go against all that you are. It will ask your soul to acknowledge a man who's standing in front of you and whose words and actions would otherwise make your blood boil, advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. Give up all that you thought matters so that what matters can come to the forefront of your life, of your world, of your heart. Peace is simple and complex in the same breath. It is the same harmonic breath that breathes life into the next breath, without condition, expectation or strife. Peace is the perfect balance of humanity. A balance we have continually drawn away from since we learned to walk. Peace is the joy of learning to walk. Peace is humanity in harmony with itself.